At least two layers of support: an anatomy of collective care — Susan Raffo

I remember the first time that I learned about the buddy system as a part of organizing. It was during a five-day training held by Training for Change , maybe 12 or 13 years ago. On the first day, they paired us up with someone to be our buddy. Then they asked us to sit down with our buddies, generally share a bit about ourselves, and then to share two specific things: the ways in which we get in our own way and the ways in which our buddy could support us when/if this happened. It was really quite beautiful, and very relieving. The facilitator shared that every one of us, every single one of us, will do things that get in the way of achieving what it is that we want. Along with the truth of systemic or structural barriers, these are the self-created barriers that prevent liberation.

I knew immediately how to answer that question. How do I get in my own way? I stay in my head or I go too fast or I focus on how everyone else is doing rather than attending to what is happening within me. I withdraw and distance, studying things rather than being in them. I contract when scared, isolating myself, rather than extend into risk. I forget to pause and notice what I am learning or experiencing, instead moving quickly on to the next thing. I move away from connection and towards isolation or duty when stressed and…